If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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