OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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