Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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