What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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