pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
