Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
