the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
