that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
