he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
