oh god the rape fog is back!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He felt like a one man threesome
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
