Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize