Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize