omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
