Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Im part way to drunk.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
