Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
