By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Someone shattered a urinal.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
