This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
