i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
