Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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