We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
