There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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