Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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