I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
stop calling my apartment porn island.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
