im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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