i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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