omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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