At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize