I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I want a musical about memes.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
