it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
