Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!

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(919): View more from North Carolina

dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.

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(630): View more from Illinois

He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.

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(770): View more from Georgia

his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I just Tebowed the shit out of her.

(336): View more from North Carolina

Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.

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(310): View more from California

He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.

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(740): View more from Ohio

All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.

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(914): View more from New York

Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?

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