Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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