He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
