My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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