Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
oh god the rape fog is back!
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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