and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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