we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
love makes seman taste better
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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