You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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