If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I love having hate sex.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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