If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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