YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just want to make out with him forever
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
