oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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