Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
