matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
