Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
