a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
