I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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