4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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