I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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