The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
