i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
God, I missed his penis.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
