he wants to bone in the snuggie
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
