please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
