Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
