dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize