Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
