dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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