just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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