OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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