he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
