She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
