It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize