There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
