i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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