Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Drake has all the answers
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
