We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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