Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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