After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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