I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
