at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
