I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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