Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
